What Makes You, you?

Is it your loyal heart? Your nurturing nature? Your free spirit? Your generous ways?  Your belief in your abilities?

What qualities do you possess that cannot be changed, swayed or exchanged?

I spent my first childhood years, knowing exactly who I was, what I wanted and what I stood for. Then I spent almost three decades looking for that little girl who knew implicitly who she was as I tried to fit into boxes not made for me. I desperately searched for the child who knew so much about me to help the woman I had become who felt like a stranger to me.

I found that little girl finally, after travelling a long and tumultuous road. She was sad, disappointed, lonely. I have had to rebuild trust between us after we lost each other so profoundly, but we are getting there and I love that little girl I used to be and she is proud of the woman I am now.

I still find new things out about myself as I continue to grow and evolve each day, but I like the fluidity of freeing myself from conformity and expectations. I will never satisfy everyone’s opinion on who they think I should be. They have never had to walk my path, so why did I spend so long caring about people’s opinions who have no idea who I am especially when I didn’t know myself for so long either.

Every morning, I remind myself of the things I KNOW about myself. The Things I am proud of, the things that no matter who says what, cannot be changed by others words or opinions. Then I am open to learn something new about myself each and every day.

I know what makes me, me and I know I’m open to change many things but not the things I have learnt to know in each moment. And whilst I know my favourite flavour of milkshake is banana today, that too may change, I will remember that once upon a time it was different, and that I know to be true. Today.

So when you feel lost in the world, and adulting has become exhausting, think back to your younger self and ask them who you really are