If you have landed on my website, it’s likely we have so much in common! I may be thirty-eight, but my teenage self has stuck to me like chewing gum to the underneath of school tables! I’ve tried to ignore her, shake her off, and I have spent over two decades despising her and the choices she made. I detached myself from her early on.
When I was a teenager, my family fell apart. I had a traumatic experience that, pretty honestly, put my soul to sleep, until recently. I realised the more I tried to pretend I hadn’t made mistakes, or bad things hadn’t happened to me, or the more I tried to convince myself I was in the wrong – Always, the more my teen self would rebel, well into my late twenties! Then I realised how unloved that part of my life had felt. How unheard and misunderstood I was, despite what my family or teachers would say, I didn’t feel it. I made poor choices and, in the end, found myself accepting that I was doomed to feel this way forever. I spent the last part of my teenage years settling for less than the youngest version of me would have allowed. Life felt confusing, emotional, but the one thing I felt I knew for sure was that the dreams I had when I was younger were silly and naive.
But then I chose to hear my teenage self out. I journaled every day, I listened to songs I used to play after a breakup or a fall out with friends, or when life felt completely overwhelming. I heard her cries, I felt her pain, I realised I had been carrying this stuff with me for years and the more I pushed it away the more it ached inside.
So why do we have so much in common? I am still that teenage version of me, just with twenty plus years’ experience carrying around everything that weighed me down heavily back then. I know how it feels to feel unloved, lonely, unheard. I feel it as if I were still experiencing it. Ok Bec, that’s great, you get how I feel…what now, do we wallow in self-pity together?
No, I listen, I understand what you are trying to say, and I help you to help yourself before you get too lost like I did. Why am I different? Because in all honesty, I may feel like the only person who won’t judge your mistakes, who won’t discipline your honesty and who wants you to feel heard. I want you to connect with you again. I want you to feel empowered. What do I get out of this? I feel proud with everyone I help because I feel like I have taken all of my trauma, all of my feelings about my teenage years and made them worthwhile. To see the lovely teenagers I work with feel in control of their lives and their futures makes me feel amazing!
If you want to get in touch email me and we can arrange a call to speak. It is helpful for me to talk to your parents as well (and mandatory if you are under 18), but I promise, they are always happy to hear you want to be happier.